Christmas Thoughts

– I’m in a weird mood right now.  I’m thinking it’s a sign of my upcoming period.  I had an unsettling dream where it was my first day of a new semester, but as I was preparing to go to my next class, I realize I don’t know what the class is or where to go at all, and I can’t find my paper that will tell me.  I’ve also had several dreams where I meet other guys and I am torn between them and Jason.  It’s only been 25 days, I don’t want to think about that.

– Not to say that I haven’t been thinking about that.  But yeah, definitely too soon.

– Anyway, I wake up really unsettled, and go about my day feeling just… uncomfortable.  On top of that, I have literally nothing to do and no one to talk to and therefore nothing can take my mind off such things and I just kind of soak in it.

– I did make fudge though.
– The band I am listening to while blogging will henceforth be included in my tags.

– I have been trying to write over break too, but I find myself staring at my word documents feeling no inspiration.  The thought of never finishing my work and never becoming a writer kills me these days.  Also killing me is the difficulty of getting work published.  It’s a really hopeless feelings.

–Anyway, I should get to sleep.  I have to go home for Christmas tomorrow.

Worth It

– Broke is broke — that’s my theory. What I mean is that once you’ve crossed the line, that’s it. For example: I am broke now, but I added $20 to a Christmas present because it would go in a small box amongst three big boxes. The proportion appealed to me and made me feel as if my gift was complete. I am very picky about proportion. I mean, just imagine it without the little box:

– What I picture is me carrying my gifts in both my arms, a big mass of matching blue plaid (like a set!), and how impressive and exciting that would look. You need at least four boxes to achieve this effect. Period.

– What I mean by “broke is broke” is that I was broke before I spent the extra $20.  This way, I’m still broke, but now, gets extra stuff.

– Broke + extra stuff for Jason > broke

– See what I mean?

– I also made cute little bows for the gift, as shown in the picture. The plaid was crying out for some kind of focal point. That, at least was free of cost. Although I did not skimp on the wrapping paper or the tissue paper.

– Presentation is everything.

– I can be a methodical gift-giver. I never got gifts as a child. Or as a teen, or right now. Not much, I mean. My mom would give me a price limit and let me into Wal-Mart, and I would pick out my own Barbie doll and play with it when I got home. I mean, she certainly never wrapped anything for me. So now, I really relish the whole present thing — way more than most people (it seems like).

My Guidelines Buying Gifts:

1. Must be something they would not have bought for themselves, but also something they would like.

2. Must be name-brand and/or fancy, even to the point of being gimmicky. Kinda stupid, but rules is rules.

3. Must be nicer than the stuff you own.

4. Must be impractical.

– I found boxes for all my gifts rather than putting them in bags, also. I love unwrapping presents and having that pile of torn paper on the floor.  For this reason, I forwent gift bags and asked my dad for two boxes, and I bought 2 shirt boxes. The tissue paper (which coordinates with the wrapping paper) is also taped shut so that you don’t unfurl your gift, nor do you lift it out from the paper. You tear the tissue paper open too.

– Other people don’t think about this kind of stuff.

– I mean, yeah, I spent more than I can afford. But I have a very special appreciation of what it feels like when someone cares about what they give you.